1. "You've really never had BLANK before?!"
Yup. The fact that I've never had a sandwich before is about as unbelievable as the fact that I've never watched Dirty Dancing all the way through. Get over it. Some people just don't mind eating the same things over and over again. I like fries, and pizza, and rice. Why should I try other things if I don't have to?
2."Well what do you do when you go out to eat?!"
I just sit there and inhale oxygen for an hour. I EAT of course! I'm a picky eater but there are some foods that I will eat and you might be astonished, but restaurants generally have a large supply of food which means there's likely something even I can palate.
3. "You won't eat anything there so I guess we can't go to that restaurant."
I already know my eating habits are sometimes inconvenient. There's no need to rub that in my face and make me feel worse about it. Any restaurant that serves bread, butter and water is fine with me. Ask all the other picky eaters, they'll agree.
4."Is that really all you're going to eat?"
If I have found something to eat that I actually like, that's satisfaction enough. To a picky eater an approved food (whether it's un-sauced pasta, a plate of broccoli, or the aforementioned bread and butter) is a feast in itself. No need for variety or multiple courses here.
5."How old are you?"
I hear you trying to imply that I eat like a five-year-old, or worse, that my disdain for your favorite foods makes me come off as a childish brat. But you're wrong. I may be picky, but believe or not I am a hardworking adult who can eat whatever she damn well pleases.
6. "Should we split the bill evenly?"
NO. It's hard being a picky eater, but one of the few perks is being able to get a satisfying meal and not cringe when I have to pay for it. If I ordered a bowl of rice, I'm paying for a bowl of rice. Sorry about that steak you have to cover ...
7."Oh great, you're a cheap date."
Okay, so I order food that is generally farther from the pricey side. If you're taking me out on a date that's great news for you. But to clarify, just because I'm picky about what I eat, don't think I'm going to skimp on the drinks. It is called wine-ing and dining after all. And flowers, tickets, and fun things to do are not off the menu at all.
8. "Just try it" or the even more grating version, "how do you know you don't like it if you've never had it."
Ugh. This question is literally the worst. I understand that I may be missing out on something because of my eating habits, but you should understand that I may be saving myself from an awful eating experience. At this point, I know what I like, and if I don't try something it's probably for good reason. I'm perfectly content in my world of pizza and fries and I don't need to ruin it by trying something that I most likely will hate. And if by some chance I would like the food if I tried it, it's my loss and I'm okay with that...I'll live.
9."No, there's no BLANK in this!"
If I know one thing for certain, it's this: If you try to feed me something I don't like by hiding it in something else or pretending there's none of it in whatever you're feeding me, I will know. Trying to feed me something I don't like is a huge no and I will definitely go 2007 Britney on you for betraying my trust. So save yourself—and our friendship—and don't test the strength of my picky eater powers.
10."That can't be healthy."
My favorite foods are pretty starchy and high in calories, so I often get people telling me I'm just clogging my arteries. Fair. But last time I checked, binge watching Netflix, day drinking all afternoon at boozy brunch, and ordering greasy Chinese takeout are not healthy behaviors either. But hey, that's none of my business.
Follow Delish on Instagram.
